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You Don’t Need Balls To Have A ‘Lan Jiao’



If you’ve ever had friends who like to act like dicks or talk cock, then we’re sure you’re no stranger to the Hokkien term for penis, ‘lan jiao’.

Well, you may be happy to hear that your favourite vulgar word has now become immortalised in a drink! A new blue coloured cola drink was launched in China fairly recently, and we kid you not, they’ve called it Lan Jiao.

It’s unclear whether or not Musiney, the company that launched the blue cola intentionally named the drink ‘penis’. In Mandarin, the drink is translated to ‘Blue Call’ and according to China Press, the inspiration for the drink comes from a cryptic story of a happy mermaid, who disappeared into the depths of the deep blue sea, and from there, she sang—’Blue Call’ is the bottled call of the mermaid from the depths of the blue.

Naturally, Internet users in China were hysterical when they saw the name of the drink, which has sold over 100 million bottles BEFORE its launch. The fun doesn’t stop at its name. According to World Of Buzz, the drink’s tagline can be loosely translated as “No matter how hard it gets, you shouldn’t scream. Drink up, have a lan jiao.”

The puns just keep coming (whoops).

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